{"id":156,"date":"2015-10-06T17:22:03","date_gmt":"2015-10-06T22:22:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cjaiferry.com\/blog\/?p=156"},"modified":"2015-10-06T17:22:03","modified_gmt":"2015-10-06T22:22:03","slug":"martini-morass-emotion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cjaiferry.com\/blog\/martini-morass-emotion\/","title":{"rendered":"Martinis, morasses, and emotional stability"},"content":{"rendered":"

This week’s flash fiction prompt from Charli Mills at the Carrot Ranch<\/a> is to write a story about a return to home in 99 words. I’ll be honest, I struggled with this prompt for a couple of reasons.<\/p>\n

I read Charli’s entry and prompt when she first published it a week ago. As I reflected on the prompt, I for some reason thought the challenge topic was (family) roots—as in where we come from, not where we return home to. So when I logged on today to read the prompt once again, I had a huge mental “oops” moment. Now, to be honest, I think Charli would have supported me if I shared my oops moment (or even if I hadn’t) as the goal is to write. Period. But (and continuing with the honesty) writing about roots would be a difficult subject for me—granted, one that I want to tackle one day, but today I just didn’t feel emotionally charged up enough to delve into that morass.<\/p>\n

Of course, the theme of home is morass-adjacent, but one that I could fake. Yes, I faked today’s work. I didn’t doing a flying cannonball or dive in with elegant grace. I skirted the morass, tiptoeing around the mud, making sure not to get my shoes too dirty. I sat at the computer for several hours, staring at the screen, trying to convince myself to write—really<\/em> write, not phone-it-in write. But I just couldn’t bring myself to wade into those\u00a0emotional waters, and I’m okay with that. I am okay with recognizing when emotionally I cannot handle the writing.<\/p>\n

I still wrote. I still met the challenge, and I \u00a0discovered that I am ready as a writer to start exploring those issues of roots and family more deeply as soon as my emotional side is ready. And it will be. Soon. Just not today.<\/p>\n

I’m sure\u00a0the never-ending grey clouds played a role as well.<\/p>\n

Full disclosure: My issues with roots and family have nothing to do with any traumatic event, so I don’t want anyone freaking out about my focus on my emotional stability. I just know that when I do write about my roots and family, it will involve revealing some very old scars, and scars\u00a0require energy, whether it be emotional, psychological, or mental energy. But today feels\u00a0more like Couch Potato Tuesday.<\/p>\n

\n

Shaken Martinis<\/span><\/p>\n

The airport bar was empty when my sister finished her martini. \u201cDad hasn\u2019t accepted her death.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I played with my straw. \u201cIt\u2019s been a year.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHe sold the house. Welcome home.\u201d She faked a smile and signaled the bartender. \u201cNo more jet-setting for you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I snorted. \u201cI was teaching English in a hut\u2013\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBlah blah blah. At least you don\u2019t have to claim him as a blood relation.\u201d She took a swig from her second martini, watching me over the rim. \u201cYou didn\u2019t know?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I frowned. It only took two martinis to make me a homeless twenty-four-year-old orphan.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This week’s flash fiction prompt from Charli Mills at the Carrot Ranch is to write a story about a return to home in 99 words. I’ll be honest, I struggled with this prompt for a couple of reasons. I read Charli’s entry and prompt when she first published it a week ago. As I reflected […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"What do you do when you cannot write? Martinis, morasses, & emotional stability #amwriting","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[15,33,16,34,20],"class_list":["post-156","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writing","tag-carrot-ranch","tag-family","tag-flash-fiction","tag-home","tag-writing-challenge"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4WVQN-2w","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cjaiferry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/156","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cjaiferry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cjaiferry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cjaiferry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cjaiferry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=156"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.cjaiferry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/156\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":158,"href":"https:\/\/www.cjaiferry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/156\/revisions\/158"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cjaiferry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=156"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cjaiferry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=156"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cjaiferry.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=156"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}